Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category

So why was Ray Harryhausen, the special effects pioneer who died today at the age of 92, such a revered figure? I could write about that for hours. But let’s keep it simple. In 1963, he created a skeleton army for “Jason and the Argonauts” and it looked like this. (FYI: The guy who posted this apparently added his own soundtrack. Whatever.)

In 1999, with far more advanced technology and a shit-ton more money at their disposal, the special effects team for “The Haunting” created a CGI ghost. And it looked like this:

Any questions?

hi-hats Since you’re doing me the courtesy of reading this blog, I might as well be straight with you. I’ve done some things in my past that I’m not too proud of. In short, I have a criminal history.

Remember the 1979 Walter Hill film “The Warriors?” The one about all the street gangs? Yeah. Well, in my misspent youth, I was a member of the Hi Hats. The street gang that dressed up like mimes. If you watch this trailer, you can catch us at the 34-second mark.

Look, I know what you’re thinking. Whenever anybody finds out about this element of my past, they ask the same questions. “Mimes? You were trying to come up with a concept for your street gang and you went with freakin MIMES? Was, like, every other conceivable possibility in the entire world already taken or something?” (more…)

As I’ve mentioned before, I love horror movies. But my friend Rob Schlotz REALLY loves them. Every week, he scours the local Redbox for horror films and checks out every one of them. And for the record, yes, he does have a life. More so than I do. Although that’s not setting the bar very high.

As far as I’m concerned, that makes him eminently qualified to review horror movies. See, he and I don’t always agree on movies. In fact, we frequently disagree — leading to bitter arguments, slammed doors, tearful recriminations and, not infrequently, fisticuffs.

But I want to provide reviews on this blog that will be valuable to horror fans. And I figure that since Rob’s such a horror fan, that’s precisely what qualifies him to write reviews. If he likes something, and you’re as big a horror buff as he is, you may like it too.

Another advantage is that Rob checks out the “Grade B” offerings in addition to the mainstream Hollywood stuff. And as I’ve written about before here, Grade B horror films have historically produced some hidden gems. Maybe Rob will stumble across a few of them.

We’ll see how this goes, but I’d kind of like to make this a regular feature. Feel free to chime in if you have any comments, or if you just want to welcome Rob aboard.

Well, enough of my gum-flapping. Take it away, Horror Maven! (more…)

die hardWith the 25th anniversary of the movie “Die Hard,” the recent release of a new sequel and the release of a new DVD set containing the original and all the previous sequels, a lot of people are writing about the 1988 original and how great it was.

I’ve already seen plenty of write-ups doing a good job in that regard, so I won’t rehash them. I’ll just briefly say that:

1) I think it’s arguably the best action film of all time. Sometimes I consider all action films that came after it to be redundant.

2) As far as I’m concerned, there is no “Die Hard franchise.” There’s the original movie — end of story. I saw the first sequel, “Die Hard 2: Die Harder,” wasn’t impressed, and haven’t bothered with any of the others. The WHOLE POINT of the first movie is that John McClane isn’t a super-powered operative who routinely gets in epic adventures, but a regular guy who found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. So I’m writing as if the sequels didn’t happen. Which they shouldn’t have in the first place.

Anyway, it’s easy to think of it as JUST an action movie. It hits all the beats. The explosions. The fist fights. The catchphrases. But I’ve got a couple of other interpretations.

See, I like looking for subtexts in movies. And whether or not the filmmakers actually intended for the movies to have those subtexts is pretty much irrelevant, as I see it. (more…)

ShalomHow come we don’t have more Jewish action heroes in popular culture?

I started wondering about that when I posted my recent interview with Michael Katz about his book “Shalom on the Range” – a Western with a Jewish hero.

Actually, I also wondered about it a few months ago after reading an interview with Michael Chabon regarding his (really good) novel “Gentlemen of the Road,” which concerns a pair of Jewish adventurers around 950 A.D.

For a while, Chabon’s book had the working title “Jews With Swords.” When he’d mention that to people, their reaction was frequently to laugh at the incongruity of the concept.

And yet, there’s nothing incongruous about the concept. For better or worse, Jews – like pretty much every culture in human history – went through a time when they ran around getting in sword fights. It’s what people did before guns were invented.

And it’s not like there’s any shortage of real-life Jewish badasses to serve as inspirations in the modern age.

I figure the dearth of Jewish action heroes is related indirectly to the fact that in America, the 1960s TV show “The Green Hornet” was about a square-jawed white hero and his Asian sidekick, Kato. But when it aired in Hong Kong, it was called “The Kato Show” and regarded as a show about an Asian hero and his white sidekick. (more…)

Here’s my annual video holiday greeting for family and friends. It features my imitation of Jimmy Stewart doing a scene from “Pulp Fiction.” In the world I inhabit, that concept makes perfect sense.

ExorcistI recently re-watched The Exorcist from 1973 for the umpteenth time. I still think it’s one of the greatest horror movies ever.

And it’s more than just a great horror movie. Beyond the more disturbing and startling elements of the film, it works as a deeply nuanced exploration of the nature of evil and faith.

That being said, something occurred to me for the first time during the most recent viewing. I watched the two priests carrying out the actual exorcism rite at the movie’s climax. And I thought: They don’t seem to be very … good at this.

I should say right here that there will be some spoilers ahead. So if you haven’t seen the movie yet, go out and see it. Then come back and read the rest of this posting.

Everybody seen the movie now? We’re all on the same page? Good.

Now, I’ll admit I’m no expert on exorcism. But if the Catholic Church did indeed use that particular rite for centuries, I’d hope it would at least work a little better. Or if the rite does work, are these guys doing something wrong?

Just to review, Father Merrin and Father Karras represent the forces of holiness there to do battle with evil incarnate in the form of the possessed Regan. How does that work out? Well, Regan spends a bunch of time f**king with them. Then Father Merrin dies of a heart attack. Karras tells the demon to come into him. When it does, he jumps through a window and kills himself.

So yeah, the demon is dispatched by the end. But two of God’s lean, mean fightin’ machines DID kind of get their asses kicked by a 12-year-old girl.

Maybe I’m being unduly harsh here. The priests were brave and noble and self-sacrificing and all. Still, think of it this way.

You’ve got a raccoon in your attic and you call a wildlife removal service. They send over two guys. In the course of doing battle with the raccoon, one of them dies of a heart attack because it’s too much of a strain. The other’s method is getting the raccoon to clamp its jaws on him and then throwing himself out your window, killing both himself and the raccoon in the process. And probably taking a significant chunk out of your security deposit.

You’d probably feel bad for the two guys who got killed, and admire their dedication to their work. At the same time, you’re probably not going to call that particular wildlife removal service again.

I’m surprised the first scene of Exorcist II didn’t show Regan’s mother on the phone saying: “Hello? Presbyterians? Yeah … the last guys didn’t work out so good.”

nerd2Well, it’s happened again. Week after week, two blog entries I’ve written get the most views.

This one deals with a bizarre conspiracy theory about coded messages from FEMA on the backs of road signs. I used it to explore a hypothesis of mine regarding the nature of conspiracy theories, which is that they’re essentially the result of a pattern recognition impulse gone haywire.

But this one gets by far the most views. In it, I examine the way that one’s values can change gradually over a span of decades, to a point where popular entertainment once regarded as innocuous can later seem offensive. As an example, I cite the movie “Revenge of the Nerds,” which features ostensibly sympathetic characters engaging in exploitative behavior toward women such as surreptitiously taking topless photos of cheerleaders with hidden cameras.

And week after week, according to the metrics helpfully provided by Word Press, variations of two search terms garner the most views on this blog: “FEMA road signs conspiracy” and “topless cheerleaders.” (more…)

KimIn the remake of “Red Dawn” currently in the theaters, North Korea invades and occupies the United States. No, really.

If you want an analysis of how weird and ridiculous this is, check out this piece. Long story short, China was originally supposed to be the occupying force in the movie, replacing the now-defunct Soviet Union from the 1984 original.

But guess what? China is the second-biggest consumer of Hollywood entertainment after North America, and the studios didn’t want to piss off a major portion of the film’s foreign market. Yep, it’s a more complicated world than it was in 1984.

The studios needed a villain nobody likes, who wasn’t going to be a factor in the movie’s box office take. And apparently North Korea was marginally more credible than the Westboro Baptist Church.

It got me thinking. What would it be like for a North Korean officer getting his orders prior to that invasion? I think it would go something like this …

Welcome to Military Headquarters, Colonel. And congratulations. You’ve been selected for a very important mission. We’re planning to invade and occupy the United States.

Why? Well, they’ve got something called “The Internet.” From what I understand, it’s mostly a repository for porn and kitten videos. Anyway, remember when our missile test failed back in April? Apparently a lot of Americans on this “Internet” made “Kim Jong Un can’t get it up” jokes, and he wasn’t pleased. (more…)

There’s a certain type of horror movie – let’s call it the postmodern horror film – that transcends genre trappings to achieve something closer to art. Such movies use the conventions of horror films not for cheap thrills and scares, but rather as a metatextual exploration of subjects such as loss and existential despair.

Director and screenplay writer Nap Bishop has assured me that “HogMaul” will NOT be one of those movies. Thank freakin God. Those movies are boring.

“HogMaul,” currently filming in Central Pennsylvania, is a movie about a psychopathic pig man who smashes people’s heads in with a hammer. Why? Because that’s what psychopathic pig men do. Duh!

At the recent “Horrorfind” convention in Gettysburg, where I met Nap and some of the HogMaul crew, we got to talking about motivation. I said “What’s his motivation? He’s got a hammer and you’ve got a skull.” Nap told me that could well function as the film’s tagline.

I for one cannot wait to see this film when it comes out. And Nap graciously took some time out from his busy schedule to answer a few questions about it. So here goes: (more…)