In an earlier post, I’ve discussed the prevalence of scary clown costumes for Halloween. Makes sense in retrospect. I’m old enough to remember a time when these ashen-faced, ghoulish creatures leering at children from TV screens were presented as amusing and whimsical, but we knew better. It took some visionaries in the “scare industry,” as I’m discovering it’s called, to acknowledge — Hey, people think these things are creepy. Let’s make use of that.
So I’m offering you a chance to get ahead of the curve this Halloween. Following is a list of things that are really creepy, but to my knowledge haven’t yet been turned into Halloween costumes. Go as one of these for Halloween and I guarantee you’ll generate more shivers than the guy with the hockey mask and the chainsaw. Feel free to add your own suggestions!
- Child beauty pageant organizer.
- Guy who tries to pick up women with the opening line: “You must work out.”
- Vacant-eyed individual handing out religious pamphlets who appears to be following you.
- Guy who refers to himself in the third person by a self-applied nickname such as “The Brewskimeister.” (Technically speaking, this guy is more “annoying” than “creepy,” but he’s still arguably worse to be around than a maniac with a chainsaw.)
- Twitchy person who corners you at a party to explain conspiracy theory regarding the Federal Reserve.
- Drunk man trying to get entire bar to sing along to jukebox rendition of “Friends in Low Places.”