Archive for June, 2013

Before you insult a man, take a moment to reflect on his life experiences and try to see things from his perspective. It will probably give you more material to work with for the insults.

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socratesA friend of mine recently asked me an intriguing question. If I could give young people one piece of advice, what would it be? I gave it some thought, and here’s what I came up with:

You know that endearing quirkiness that you value so highly in your romantic partner? That child-like sense of spontaneity, playfulness and wonder? That determination to make life an adventure and live it to its fullest, society’s conventions be damned?

It’s probably psychosis. Run.

superfriendsA recent article on The Onion A.V. Club brought back some memories. It dealt with all of the knockoffs that Hanna-Barbera crapped out in the 1970s after the success of “Scooby Doo, Where are You?”

Among them was “Super Friends,” which debuted in 1973. Apparently there was a later iteration. But the version I watched as a kid featured a crime-fighting team consisting of Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman & Robin, and Aquaman.

Also along for the ride were a couple of teenagers named Wendy and Marvin, who had no superpowers or any particular talents that lent themselves to crime-fighting. Their presence was never explained. Made me wonder if that prompted any behind-the-scenes discussions like this:

Wonder Woman: OK, this isn’t on the agenda. But it needs to be addressed. Can someone explain to me why Wendy and Marvin are on the payroll? They don’t contribute anything. And we spend half our time in the field trying to keep their pimply little asses from getting killed.

Superman: Ask Aquaman. He said that if Batman gets to have Robin, then he gets to have a couple of “special friends” too.

Wonder Woman: OK, that’s REALLY creepy.

Superman: Says the woman whose entire superpower is based on binding people up with rope.

typewriterSo I was hanging out with the Drunken Comic Book Monkeys (aka Brian Koscienski, Chris Pisano and Christine Czachur) at the York Emporium’s Science Fiction Saturday event last weekend.

I was there to sell copies of my friend Scott Pruden’s science fiction book “Immaculate Deception,” from Codorus Press. My own book from Codorus Press isn’t due out until next month and it isn’t really science fiction. But since I was planning to go to the event anyway, the York Emporium’s owner Jim Lewin generously gave me some table space to sell Scott’s book.

Anyway, the subject of money came up. And I mentioned to Chris, Brian, and Christine something that a friend of mine recently said when he learned I had a book coming out. That when I got rich off it, I could buy the beers from then on.

Brian, Chris and Christine all laughed, as did several other writers within earshot. Why? Because the idea of fiction writers — especially writers with small, independent publishers — getting rich these days is so absurd that it’s actually comic.

I didn’t realize that when I first got into this a couple of years ago. (more…)

Here’s a sign from my neighborhood. I usually try to obey the law, but this one’s got me a little confused. Is there a PARTICULAR child in the area I’m supposed to handicap, or should I just pick one at random?

handicap