Tom Joyce's chamber of the bizarre

Ever watch one of the Friday the 13th movies and think that a bunch of teenagers who can’t get away from a slow-moving guy in a hockey mask probably don’t belong in the gene pool?

I started a discussion about this topic on Facebook today, and came to the conclusion that it’s a failing on the part of the screenplay writers.

Did you write a script featuring a killer who requires the victims to essentially HELP him bump them off? WRITE A NEW FREAKIN KILLER BECAUSE IT’S NOT SCARY ANYMORE! IT’S ANNOYING!

Here’s the discussion that I imagine takes place in those writing sessions:

“OK. The victim is running from the killer. And, uh … hmmmm. That’s problematic, since she’s running and he moves at the speed of a recent double knee replacement patient with a codeine buzz and a wedgie. How about this? She runs into a farmhouse where there’s no exit. They used to build farmhouses without backdoors, right? They didn’t? Well, maybe our audience won’t know that. Then … I guess she could still run away from him in there, couldn’t she? How about if she stumbles and hurts her leg? She’d still be able to limp away from him? Hmmm. How about this? She somehow accidentally handcuffs herself to the railing …”