Well, it’s been a long haul. Been dealing with some stuff. (See last blog entry.) But somewhere in there, the Oct. 31 release date for my short story collection, “The Devil’s Kazoo Band Don’t Take Requests,” crept up on me. So I guess now’s as good a time as any to blow the dust off this blog and post something. A while back, I found some two-sentence horror stories on the web. Here’s an example:
“The last thing I saw was my alarm clock flashing 12:07 before she pushed her long rotting nails through my chest, her other hand muffling my screams. I sat bolt upright, relieved it was only a dream, but as I saw my alarm clock read 12:06, I heard my closet door creak open.”
Here are some more.
Since then, I’ve made kind of a Halloween tradition of posting my own two-sentence horror stories every year. This is the 2016 edition. Be forewarned. Bone-chilling terror awaits:
- “Don’t apologize to me for your foul mouth,” my new cubicle-mate says. “Apologize to Jesus.”
- A new congressman is elected in your district. InfoWars endorsed him.
- “I’ll be here for the next four weeks,” the contractor says. “Have you heard the one about the two blacks and a Jew in the gay bar?”
- Your daughter says things are getting serious with her boyfriend. He has a “9/11 Was an Inside Job” bumper sticker on his car.
- “We’ll get started in just a minute,” the woman at the front of the room says. “But first, we have a fun team-building exercise for you.”
- I hand her my phone to show her the picture I just took. She starts scrolling through the rest of my pictures.
- “Welcome to ’90s night!” the DJ says. “Who remembers the Macarena?”
Flint and I worked hard at making our private detective agency a success. But we couldn’t cut out the mobilizin’ and socializin’ altogether, could we? The lovely ladies at the Cottontail Lounge might think we were neglecting them. Here, we’ve spotted something at the end of the bar, and we like what we see. Is it hot in here, baby, or is it YOU? Oooooh yeah.
and Alex Segura, author of 
. First off, the bookstore was really cool. They specialize in science fiction, fantasy and mystery. You could just tell by browsing the selection that the owners have a genuine love for — and excellent taste in — the aforementioned genres. It’s the type of bookstore I’d make a roadtrip just to visit. And I really enjoyed sitting on the panel and talking about writing with Wayne and Alex, too. It was funny. We got so engrossed in our talk that somebody had to remind us — hey, you guys might want to sell some books, as long as you’re here.
. It’s the moment when my characters did something I hadn’t expected. And the book took a turn that made me say: “Whoah! Didn’t see THAT coming!” That was kind of unnerving, since I was WRITING the freakin thing! 
Tom Joyce's chamber of the bizarre 